“These people aren’t my family”: How Maria Esguerra escaped a cult to save her children

NEED TO KNOW

• Maria Esguerra was born into and grew up in the Children of God cult.

• She was abused from the age of four and regularly denied medical attention.

• At the age of 22, Maria found the courage to escape with her husband, Jesse.

• They left to protect their two children, but life outside the cult was hard at first.

• Today she is thriving and works with an organisation that supports survivors of high-control religious groups.

When she was eight, Maria Esguerra fell over and broke her nose.

Instead of racing her to the hospital, the adults around Maria took her back to the bunk room she shared with dozens of other children.

“I had to write an open-heart report about what sins I had committed that meant I got hurt,” Maria, now 45, tells New Idea.

“It was deemed my fault because I’d done something naughty – been prideful or disobedient.”

Maria, who went on to become a Children of God cult survivor, says medical treatment was often discouraged because members believed God would provide healing.

 Even glasses were deemed unnecessary, and legally blind without them, Maria remembers a hazy childhood filled with fear.

“It was a hard way to grow up. We were always in trouble and constantly fearing the end of the world,” she says.

“Even when I was punished for something I didn’t do, I’d be told it was punishment for the things I’d got away with.”

Alongside regular beatings, Maria suffered sexual abuse from the age of four until she escaped at 22.

 She says the abuse was rife within the cult, which referred to sex as “sharing”.

Education was largely limited to Bible readings and letters from founder David Berg, who became the subject of criminal investigations and allegations relating to child abuse, neglect, and sexual exploitation within the group.

“It was the psychological abuse that was so traumatic, and that indoctrination from childhood doesn’t end,” Maria says.

“Even now, when something bad happens, I wonder what I did wrong.”

After 22 years in the group, Maria found the courage to leave.

She had fallen in love with Jesse, who had also been born into the cult, and together they started a family.

 Their first child nearly died from meningitis after members resisted medical treatment.

Then, after the birth of their second child, Maria realised she could no longer stay.

“I stood in front of the commune in Sydney and thought, these people aren’t my family; they don’t care about me. I need to get these kids out,” she says.

Jesse agreed.

With the help of a friend who’d previously escaped, they fled the commune with their two young children.

“While it was rare for people to be physically held back, we left with just the clothes on our backs,” Maria says.

 “We were excommunicated and left to fend for ourselves.”

Calling the police never crossed her mind.

“We were taught to fear police, told they were part of the Antichrist forces, and I still carried a significant amount of fear surrounding them,” she explains.

Starting from scratch was daunting.

“It was like being a refugee in a new country. We felt so alien. We’d never worked in a job and had no education,” she says.

To survive, Maria and Jesse sold homemade cookies door-to-door and took on sales and call-centre jobs while building a new life outside the cult.

Over time, Maria went to university and qualified as a psychologist.

For years, she kept her past a secret.

“I didn’t tell anyone about my cult background until two years ago,” she says.

The 2022 death of eight-year-old Elizabeth Struhs became the catalyst for speaking out. Elizabeth died after her insulin was withdrawn in favour of faith healing.

Her parents and 12 fellow members of the religious group known as The Saints were later convicted of her death.

“These things are still happening,” Maria says.

 “Kids are being treated in this barbaric way.”

Today, Maria works with the Olive Leaf Network, which supports survivors of high-control religious groups.

She is also assisting a parliamentary inquiry examining the experiences of children raised in such communities.

“The kids in these groups need education, health care and the same protections as any other Australian child,” she says.

While the trauma has never completely disappeared, Maria is proud of and “grateful” for the life she has now built.

“I suffer from survivor’s guilt and the need to do more,” she admits.

“But I also feel very fortunate that I’ve been able to carve out a meaningful life where I can help people.”